chinook hobby

Went to school at usual timing today. Had 3 whole hours to waste so read newspaper and went gyming.
somebody didnapos;t come to school today cos needa rest those aching muscles... Awwww... :(
the phone call in the afternoon was wierd. Didnapos;t really like the fact that i had to practically shout into the phone while talking. And i donapos;t like silences.. Sorta gives me the impression of whether youapos;re there or not. Hmmm... You always complained that iapos;ve got nothing to say to you? is it true? how come its like i feel that youapos;ve got nothing to say to me? how come our conversations can never be continuous? its rather wieerd argh i dun really like the feeling. Holly dolly molly sally you said you msg me. But only after 4 hours, when i asked you why didnapos;t you msg me, then did you apologize, and just replied to my that msg. After that, its all back to late replys or perhaps not. Not that i got any reply till now... Is it so difficult to msg me? i know you donapos;t like it. But canapos;t you take the effort? you said you dun like to reply my msg, so i didnapos;t really msg you nowadays, dun you get the trend? but then again, it seems that you can never msg me first. Its evident today anyway. I think iapos;ve been trying to change to suit you alot. But can you ever change for me? the phrase you once told me, "iapos;ll remain as myself. I wonapos;t change for you, you know?" is echoing in my mind. Why? is love so complicated?
do you think iapos;m a good gf? are you proud of me? youapos;re sitting on the neutral fence. Iapos;ve got this feeling that you only love me more when your friends say good things bout me. What if they say negative stuff? then your impression, or rather you love will be swayed to the negative side. What is this? canapos;t you take your own stand. Iapos;m sorry, but if iapos;m your gf, you only have the positive stand to take. If you ainapos;t proud of me? why bother to choose me as your gf in the first place? its kindda obvious that you like me because iapos;m nice to you. Apart from this? youapos;re being really selfish if you keep taking advantage of my niceness. I hope iapos;m not just a dispenser of "niceness" after 7 months. Itapos;ll really break my heart if thats the truth. Hey there, beng nice and being loved are entirely different things. Guess its time to ponder about some things... Donapos;t you think so?

i know the root of all problems... It all began due to my lack of trust, faith and security in you. After 7 months, iapos;m sad to say, iapos;ve still not found them. Or maybe its that you havenapos;t given them to me.
out of a sudden, i feel so unsure of what i want, sometimes, i really feel like iapos;m on the verge of letting go everything...


i guess, iapos;ll leave when i feel that iapos;m no longer needed by you. Iapos;m sorry



poh: and tell me please, when will you truly, really be mine?
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